March 27, 2018
The day before surgery.
The night before surgery- March 27th, 2017. I was shaking, I was scared, I was excited, I was happy, but more than anything I was ready to start over. I looked at myself one last time in the mirror and reminded myself that this upcoming journey was not for anybody but myself. I LOVED myself, and in that same moment I made myself a few new promises.
“I promise through the thick and thin of the rest of my life, no matter how down on myself I may be, I will not give up. I will make an Instagram, and be vulnerable, and honest with people going through this journey. I will not loose sight in why I am going on this journey. I will keep a blog. I will NEVER use photoshop again to edit my body. I will love myself endlessly. Lastly, I promised myself that March 28th was my new life. For me that meant many things: No more negativity in my life. No more lies. No talking badly about people. While there were many “No’s” I also promised myself happy things- “When you set a goal, and you reach it, reward yourself. Promise to laugh more. Promise to love. Promise to support those around you, and those that reach out. Promise to work your hardest to be the best you can be, so then you can help people. Remember that when someone judges you for posting a picture, THIS is YOUR journey. You are not doing this for others approval. You are posting to inspire other people, and if someone hates on it.. then that is their opinion. EVERYONE has one.”
I know for a fact that making these promises to myself changed and shaped my journey. These promises have helped me stay grounded, when I feel like I am on top of the world. Some other things that have helped me stay on the right path are, my faith, my FAMILY, my love for myself, the support from such an amazing weightloss community on Instagram, and my music.
One year later, March 27th, 2018- Here is the my advice to the person on the night before anything monumental- and life changing:
- Focus on why you are changing your life, and what has made you want to make that change. Never loose sight in that. You can be nervous, in fact, if you’re not.. you are a weirdo. Jk
- BUT seriously, go through all of the emotions. Live. Don’t be scared about judgement from other people, because ultimately you are the one that is going to be overcoming something HUGE, drastic, and YOU are making the change.
- Believe in yourself. I had to. I didn’t. That night was the night that I did. I took this picture and I said I love myself. I knew it would be my last before picture, before I turned into a cutting board the next day. (By the way… my scars… are MY story, and I love them)
- Sleep well, say a little prayer, dream about your future, it is about to get REAL.
Lastly, Congratulations, you are doing it, and that means are just this much closer to reaching a goal, your first goal. Go live your life- IT is time!